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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175149">A Lady Of Her Status</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanwork12345/pseuds/fanwork12345'>fanwork12345</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What could have been . . . [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Ashara's POV, Ashara's thoughts on the funeral from the Portrait, Gen, Mentions of Suicidal Thoughts, kind of rambly, mentions of distressing death, only mentions but still don't read if that's a trigger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:21:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25175149</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanwork12345/pseuds/fanwork12345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is Ashara's life after Elia Martell's death from my other story the portrait, it's sort of a spin off I guess?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ashara Dayne &amp; Elia Martell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What could have been . . . [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1724029</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Lady Of Her Status</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>If you hadn't read that it will probably be a bit confusing. Here's a quick summary: Rhaegar won and married Lyanna, Elia survived the attack and stayed to help rule but the stress of it all eventually led to her death about ten years later. I'm currently finishing the portrait, I've even started writing the next chapter but this kind of came into my head. You have been warned there is another weird dream, I guess I'm obsessed with that trope. I'd say it's my last but then I'd probably be lying. Mentions of death, grief, depression, weird magic ritual and suicidal feelings. It's not very explicit but if that's a trigger don't read, I don't want to upset anyone. Feedback welcome. This was a bit of a rambling one for me anyway.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ashara was a lady.</p><p>A Lady of her status did not cry in front of others. Not even at crucial moments. Like watching your closest friend since before you could remember die in front of you while holding your hand. Ashara actually saw the sparkling light in her eyes die out. She had stopped writhing like a distressed serpent, her breathe coming in hitches and gasps. She could no longer form words, her last ones had been her children names but Ashara could read in the desperation in her eyes that she had wanted to say more. To stroke their hair one last time.<em> To just live more.</em> Every single precious second until her dark eyes went dull and glassy and her hand limp like a dead fish.</p><p>A Lady of her status couldn’t sob at such a grand event as the Queen’s funeral. Elia was the Queen so she had to die a Queen with great ceremony and thousands of mourners from the noble rich to the lowliest orphans who ran feral in the streets of Flea Bottom. There would be several services of course to separate the classes who would mourn and a feast and the bells would ring. Yes, Ashara thought distractedly, the bells would ring. They were ringing, in fact she noted as she looked in her mirror, picking at her hair. A few silver strands poked through her long hair that hadn’t been there a few moons earlier. The young girl in her, the one that had grown up on compliments on her beauty rejected the evidence of its fading. She looked tired; her black dresses of mourning washed her out and for some reason her hand kept trembling slightly. She clenched it into a fist to try to stop it. Ashara remembered a suitor, some young hopeful who had faded from her memory, (there had been so many before her disgrace) had told her she was even more beautiful sad. Elia had sat up indignantly on a bench where she had been trying to soak up as much of the sun as possible. “Ashara you are beautiful happy and sad. You are beautiful always. You know that reminds me of that Volantese scholar, of the romanticisation of sadness. . .” She had forgotten about the scholar and his teachings, something Elia had probably borrowed from her older, serious brother. Ashara felt herself smile as the memory replayed in her mind, Elia sitting up as the sun beat down, turning toward her, rolling her eyes at the stupidity of another of Ashara’s long line of suitors. Always. She was wrong, Ashara was not beautiful now. The suitor had been wrong too, there was nothing beautiful about her sadness.</p><p>A Lady of her status did not protest to her superiors. She had wanted to accompany the children to the funeral. Rhaenys and Aegon had lost their mother and she wanted to support them in any way she could. Little prince Jon and her own daughter were upset too, Elia had been a comforting maternal presence to them both. It was stupid, silly thing really to ask for. After Elia’s death she had sat there for a few minutes completely frozen until the King and Queen had come bursting in and she found herself turning away, letting go of her Queen’s cold, dead hand and had walked back to her chamber close by. This last thing she remembered was collapsing on her bed. Ashara had woken up fully clothed, the Queen’s blood still smeared on her blue dress. It felt wrong to throw it away but what could she do with it? It turned out she had slept throughout the day and most of the evening. When she returned to the Queen’s chamber she was gone. “They have taken the body to the sept, my Lady.” Said the curtseying courtier. <em>The body. She was the body now.</em> A few days passed whilst the silent sisters prepared the body, stuffing her with fragrant herbs like the body was some bland hunk of meat. The day before the funeral she was informed that she would travel with the noblest of peers, a guest of honour next to Elia’s brothers but the children wouldn’t be escorted by her.</p><p>A Lady of her status wouldn’t be angry about such shallow things. Like the dress. So what if Elia was wearing that red and black dress that she had liked but not loved? Surely she should have been in one she had loved or was Ashara just being fussy? The impending cremation shouldn’t anger her. Elia had agreed, she had taken a Targaryen as a husband and the dragons were burned. Elia had known that when she had married him, when she had said her vows. The body had kept her vows. Little Rhaenys, her black curls obscuring her face from Ashara and thankfully the predatory vultures stood in the pews. Her small figure, next to an even smaller Egg and an even smaller figure, Jon. Her daughter was there too and Ashara felt her heart clench and folded her trembling hands together to steady them. They looked so small in the cavernous Sept and they were so close to the body. The rotting body.</p><p>A Lady of her status should be able to appreciate art. So when the King revealed his surprise, a large portrait of the Queen at the feast, Ashara should have clapped politely and smiled at his thoughtful idea of commemorating his much beloved wife. It was monstrous. Huge it seemed with a gilded, fussy fame, crammed with jewels. There were so many. The body had liked jewels but this many was so vulgar and ostentatious. It drew the eye from the picture and surely the image was the point? She was wearing one of her favourite dresses and it angered Ashara that Rhaegar had known that, she wasn't in the mood to compliment his efforts. Ashara took a step closer. Her expression in this picture was glazed, almost vacuous and she wore no crown. She felt fury curl in her belly. There was the locket Elia sometimes wore but where was the pendant? Elia wore that always the symbol of their friendship and he had omitted it. Had their friendship painted right out of his big grand gesture. Ashara hated big, grand gestures. They were usually fake and empty. This she decided was fake and empty. She felt her fury begin to flicker.</p><p>A Lady of her status should not feel such treasonous thoughts about her King. She should wonder and swoon at the dark circles under his eyes. He looked thinner than usual, almost gaunt like some silvery ghost who was wandering around in his own dream like world. When reading out his dreadful, meandering poem his voice had been dreamy and wavered a little in pitch. The image of the grieving husband but Ashara knew better. Now he was looking at the portrait, watching everyone who came up to compliment it. The piles of food were attracting more positive attention. Perhaps that's what people would remember about the Queen’s funeral. She could imagine it, when this event became only a distant memory to people when they tod their children.<em> Oh the poem was a dreadful bore but the food was pretty good wasn't it darling? Such terrible weather though . . . .</em>The hungry mourners were shuffling around .“It’s so romantic. . “ she heard one dim witted maiden simper. How could they know? Before she knew what she was doing she was walking towards the King and the Queen, in front of the whole court. They were stood close together, their head bent close in a gesture of intimacy.</p><p>“You did this.” Rhaegar turned to look at her.</p><p>“My Lady?” Jon Connington said warningly, he was giving her an out.</p><p>“You did this.” She spoke louder and clearer. “Her blood is on your hands.” Lyanna inhaled sharply and shook her head frantically as if that would wipe away her words. Rhaegar was staring at her intently almost as if in challenge. Ashara felt a rushing thrill. He felt something at least, none of this strange disconnection that she had noticed from their early acquaintance. He should feel something.</p><p>Lyanna was wringing her hands. “Please." she said.</p><p>“If she had gone home, she would still be here.” It seemed so obvious to Ashara. Kings Landing had slowly sucked the life out of her friend. She had accompanied Elia here for the wedding. In Dorne the Queen had had bad spells, her health was always delicate. That had been the first thing Ashara had learnt about her. “You must be careful Ashara, the Princess she is of delicate health. You mustn't upset her.” her mother had told whilst a maid brushed her hair. Ashara had repressed a sigh. She knew her parents wanted to befriend the Princess’ of Dorne’s daughter, to somehow gain her parents closer access to House Martell. She had heard them arguing and trying to scheme, hoping perhaps that they’re very pretty daughter would catch one of the Princess’ son’s eye. Ashara didn’t want to go to the Water Gardens with some fussy, sickly princess. That was until she had met her. A little shy but sparkling like the sun of her house. Ashara had watched that sparkle even in her bad days and she had watched it ebb away once she had been trapped in this stinking city and the political marriage to a man as distant as a remote star.</p><p>“All she wanted to do was go home. She would still be alive if you had let her go home. .you killed her as if you had stabbed her through the heart.” She had gone too far, a part of her knew that. There was a shocked silence. In Rhaegar’s eyes she saw a flicker of something and felt a dart of triumph. Finally, that man might see. Just for one second. She hoped the guilt would eat him from the inside like a maggot burrowing inside a rotten apple. Lyanna recoiled, folding in on herself. Ashara looked at her in disgust, that’s what children do she thought. Ashara could feel Arthur’s worried stare rather than see it, she couldn’t look away from the King. She wanted him to know, to feel the pain she had felt when the body had come back to her chamber and just shook her head. “The trip it won’t be going ahead yet. The King wants me to stay.” Her voice had been steady but Ashara had heard the despair underneath and it had broken her heart. The trip had been a terrifying prospect, it had meant the illness was a real threat but to not go . . . Ashara knew Elia well enough to know her heart was breaking, that it was yearning for her home.</p><p>“To feel the sun again, the real sun. . that’s all she wanted. . .her home. Our home. . .it would have saved the body.” People were staring at her if she was crazy. Perhaps she was. But didn’t they see? The body had needed clean air, the sun, the food of her childhood. The body had needed her family. <em>Peace</em>. She hadn’t had peace in so long. So many years trying to paper over the cracks that the war had left. What was she talking about? Cracks? The realm was torn apart and she had been left with the thin thread of all her wits and connections to try and sew the huge fissures together. For peace. But where had been her peace?</p><p>A Lady of her status should never make a public disgrace of herself. Accusing the King of the Seven Kingdoms of killing his wife by forcing her to stay with him at the Queen’s funeral memorial in front of the court definitely fell into that category. Things seemed to happen very fast after that. It was obvious to everyone Prince Doran assured her in his measured, serious tone of his that grief had caused her to speak in such a manner. She had, he told her looking her directly in the eye, not meant to suggest that the King was complicit in his wife’s death because that would mean very serious consequences. He was speaking to her like a child, which Ashara supposed she must seem like. She knew Prince Doran and Prince Oberyn too well to know how angry they were at their sister’s treatment but they hadn’t made a scene. They hadn’t stoked up tensions so the splits threaten to burst and overflow bringing the realm back into chaos. Prince Doran told her that the King and Queen had thought it would be best if she went home to recover. Clearly the grief had become too much for her. Ashara recognised Connington’s turn of phrase in Doran’s words. So it was exile. In a way she was getting exactly what she wanted. She was going home just without the body. Part of her felt relief, this had never been her home and soon she would be free of it all. The demands, the politics and the smell. But the children, the children were here and the children were everything. Doran saw the question in her eyes. "The King has or rather Connington has asked that Elaena remain as Rhaenys . . beloved companion. Arryn has agreed." Ashara heard the subtext. Hostage. "I can try and convince him that's not necessary. I think the best way is/"</p><p>"Stop. Let me think for a second." Ashara interrupted. She had to leave, go home but Dorne wasn't her daughters home. Kings Landing was. Elaena and Rhaenys were very close, it would have been like tearing Elia and Ashara apart when they were younger. Rhaenys had lost her mother, would lose Ashara and now her closest friend? She was already such a serious young girl already. Quiet, competent and responsible. She would need someone like Elia had needed her. Like Ashara had needed Elia. "You can convince them for me to take Elaena home?" she asked him directly. Doran hesitated and Ashara knew. The King and Queen would never forgive her outburst.</p><p>A Lady of her status always says goodbye in a dignified manner. She hugged each of the children in turn. "Goodbye My Lady. Have a safe journey." said the young dark haired prince Jon politely. He looked anxiously to his mother as if to ask did I say that right? Egg hugged her very tightly. Ashara thought about how she had watched and helped him grow up. All the milestones she had the privilege to witness of the future king. Now she would miss the next ones. She kissed him on the forehead. "You be a good boy for your mother darling." She moved onto Rhaenys, her hair tied back in a long plait with a red ribbon. "Sweetling you be a good girl and write to me. Your mother would be so proud of you. Both of you. " she looked at Egg." I want you to know you two were the most precious thing in the world to her." She wanted to clutch their hands and make them promise they wouldn't forget her or their mother but she didn't want to upset them more. Lastly was her daughter, her hair braided the same way. "Goodbye sweetling. Write to me and . .I'll be thinking of you always." she murmured into her daughters ear. She took note that both girls were wearing their necklaces, the one around Elaena's with the design of House Dayne etched artfully on it using lovely violet gemstones." Remember the bond between House Martell an House Dayne, the bond of friendship can outlast anything." Ashara got into the carriage and saw Rhaenys take Elaena's hand, both wearing their pendants. She felt the first warm feeling since the night of the Queen's death. Elaena being held here was her punishment but it could be the making of her. All Ashara could offer was love and a bastard status. Rhaenys would give her love too but also favour. The whispers of her parentage would follow her everywhere but she would be protected like Elia had protected her.</p><p>A Lady of her status shouldn't feel this level of exhaustion. She felt it for a while. As if all the stress, worry and unhappiness from the last year had come at once. It was over. She no longer had any real purpose. Her friend and Queen was gone. She could no longer nurture the children. She had no access to her own child. Ashara returned to Dorne exhausted and unable to appreciate the homecoming. Her brother was kindly enough as was her sister but she felt disconnected from them. Prince Doran offered Sunspear or the Water Gardens but Ashara refused. It had been their dream to return together. There were only ghosts there. So she remained at Starfall and filled her days somehow. It took a long time but slowly she began to enjoy things again. Like a lovely day. Like baths filled with scented rosewater. Like an interesting conversation. It was small little victories but it was something. Her status she realised had been tied to Elia's. With her friends death, her fall was inevitable, neither the King or Queen were blind to her intense dislike of them. Sometimes she regretted her outburst when she thought of the children and all she was missing. Sometimes she wished she had thrown herself at the King with a raging fury. Mostly she went on not always happily but over time content. The letters she received from her brother at court gave her hope. Her daughter was happy, healthy and the closest companion of the princess of the Seven Kingdoms. Her mother, Ashara reflected would have been proud.</p><p>A Lady of her status which had considerably lowered since the Queen’s death should not be expected to be invited to all the events of high society. Even her own daughters wedding. Their correspondence had continued but it was a pale imitation of the relationship Ashara imagined they would have. Her engagement shouldn’t have been a complete shock. Her daughter was of marrying age technically but still fifteen? Her daughter, her little girl was a wife. It was not something Ashara could relate too and her exclusion from the ceremony had stung. It had been very quick, Elaena had written after it had already taken place, the King and Queen had paid for it all, it was the best day of her life. Ashara had traced the words with her finger. <em>The best day of her life</em>. And Ashara hadn’t been there. It made her mood sink like a stone and the fragile peace she had found began to crumble. It was unnoticed at first but eventually her brother, the Lord of Starfall came to her. "The Maester has informed me you are refusing to take his poultice for your . .condition." When she was younger her father had called it hysteria and told her she was lucky he didn't slap some sense into her. Her brother would never do that but in a strange way his disappointment was worse than her father's flashy temper and empty threats. He stood there tall and weary and she could almost hear the spiel of thoughts that he was suppressing. Why are you like this? You were fine a few weeks ago? Do you think I have time for this? Is this about the Queen's death, because that was years ago? Ashara seriously, it's been moons now, you have to try? "It doesn't work." she mumbled into her pillow. She felt so tired, why was he here? She wasn't complaining, she knew nothing would, she would just have to wait it out. Like the sea, it came in waves but the waves eventually receded. She thought about telling him that, so he might better understand her nameless condition but on second thought reconsidered remembering Elia's reaction. "But what if you drown?" Her voice was very anxious and she was pulling at a tendril of hair almost viciously after Ashara explained her strange low moods. Her large black eyes were studying her as if they were trying to see into her mind, figure out what was causing all the trouble. The body's reaction a small voice inside her mind that she hated reminded her.</p><p>A Lady of her diminishing status shouldn’t consort with witches. Maggy the frog was she supposed, a witch. Ashara hadn’t meant too. A fair had come to the nearby town, it was a great spectacle as not many travellers came to Dorne. She had gone mostly to please her Lord brother, to prove she was not moping around. Passing a dark green, high peaked tent she smelled something she hadn’t in years. It was Elia’s perfume, she would recognise it anywhere. She pushed the flaps aside and coughed as scented fog clouded her vision. There were many more smells now but she could still detect it. It was hard to forget with it so close. “I knew you would come.” Came a floating, mysterious, accented voice. A squat, warty woman crouched behind a small, rocking table crammed with items. Ashara snapped out of it. She hadn’t thought of Elia in a long time, had grown to practice to separate her life into two halves. Ashara lived in Dorne now, Kings Landing was in the past. She began to back out of the tent. “Aaaah you fear me.”</p><p>Ashara snorted. “Pedal your wares on someone with more naivety.” Ashara was ready to go back home. Perhaps she would have a bath, wash the scent away. Then go back to bed.</p><p>“You’ll be back. When your heart which you gave freely is given away as if it is nothing, you shall return to seek advice.”</p><p>“From you?” Ashara couldn’t help the scorn lilt her tone.</p><p>The woman chuckled, unoffended. "Oh you young, beautiful heiresses. All the same. You all come to me, little old Maggy. I am the gateway to others.”</p><p>“I’m not that young.” She grumbled. “Who will it to be then?”</p><p>“The person who you always confided in since you were a girl. The person who knows you best and who you know will not judge what is in your heart.” She looked Ashara straight in the eye. The witch had been vague but Ashara knew it could only be one person. “What? You will speak in her voice as she possesses you?” Ashara felt anger but also even worse she felt the spark of hope.</p><p>“No, you shall see her spirit and ask her three questions and only then shall you see the path ahead. If not you shall have a fate worse than death, you shall be lost forever” Ashara straightened her back, she was still a Lady, a Lady of Starfall. Ashara turned her back on the ugly witch.</p><p>A Lady of her status must greet her relatives joyously .Her sister had returned for a visit after her whirlwind marriage to her betrothed Lord Dondarrion. She came in excitedly, flushed with excitement and love. But it was not her sisters expression that caught her eye. “What are you doing with that?” she stared at the pendant around her sister’s neck.</p><p>“Oh Elaena said I should keep it.” Allyria said brightly. “It was very sweet of her, don’t you think?”</p><p>“She gave it to you?” Ashara said in shock. "How could she?" Allyria looked hurt. Something in her tone must have shown her true feelings because Allyria froze and looked confused. Why shouldn’t her niece give her such a lovely gift? Ashara couldn’t believe it. How could Elaena give it away?</p><p>A Lady of her status could reminisce. She remembered writing home to say she would be staying in Kings Landing. Her brother hadn’t wanted her to in all the terrible conflict. He was still angry about her disgrace. Once she had given birth to Elaena her stock in the marriage market had plummeted. As the closest friend of the queen to be from a wealthy family and great beauty to match her older brother had expected so much better than what she had delivered. A bastard with no last name. But Elia needed her. Ashara knew the whispers would follow her always, that Kings Landing would always be awful. But Elia had needed her. How could she abandon her? Elia thanked her formally but a few days later when they returned to the privacy of her room she whirled her around and hugged her with surprising force. "I have a gift for you." she said softly. It was a necklace. Ashara had received many tokens throughout her lifetime, a lot of it jewellery and some of it from Elia herself. This was different though. Elia's most treasured piece was a pendant gifted from mother to daughter before her wedding in House Martell supposedly dating back to Nymeria herself. Elia had laughed bashfully explaining how it was unlikely that old but Ashara knew it was her favourite. It was simple round necklace with a ruby sun. In her hand was a matching one but silver and inset with a violet stone for the House Dayne falling star. "Do you like it?" Elia had asked and Ashara had heard the nervous undertone. "I know it is a little plain but I thought it would be nice if they matched a little." she explained.</p><p>"I love it, Your Grace, you shouldn't have." Ashara had replied truthfully, she didn't need a reward for loyalty, she would never abandon her. They hugged again, whirling around.</p><p>"Don't be silly. One day you can give it to Elaena as I will give mine to Rhaenys. They shall be as close as we are. One day we will give them to them together." It had made Ashara's heart soar. As she watched Elia get sicker it had crossed her mind that day wouldn't come. The girls had grown up close as they had wished but they had wanted to wait in the tradition of the necklace. Elia had wanted to do it when she had found out she was sick again but Ashara had shaken her head going into full optimism mode. "No, no we should wait. When you recover you'll regret it." But she hadn't recovered and eventually as Elia got sicker and sicker she agreed. It had felt like a defeat.They had given to the girls and hugged them and read them stories and afterwards Elia had cried in her arms. “Give it to me.” She snapped handing out her hand. Allyria flushed and opened her mouth as if to protest but then she sighed and handed it to her. “Ashara.” She said but Ashara had already left, the door swinging shut behind her.</p><p>A Lady of her status really shouldn’t think about raising the dead. But it had happened, what the witch had said. The gift had been given away. Maggy seemed unsurprised to see her again at her tents entrance.</p><p>“What will it cost?” She cut straight to the point.</p><p>" A little something precious, a woman has to live oh and a few hairs, such beauty as yours distilled would fetch quite a price." The gold she had expected, she had the allowance her brother gave her every moon. The hair was a little creepy but what was a few hairs in exchange for a chance at this? Ashara recognised this rush of adrenaline. She wasn’t thinking, there was no Elia to be the word of caution, she had to let this wave carry her through. “I have gold.” Ashara assured her. She sat down across the small rickety table covered in the dark green tablecloth. Maggy began arranging some foul smelling herbs on a frayed cut of cloth. She lined them in a complicated swirl. Ashara wanted to ask her what she was doing but didn’t, it felt wrong to break the silence. She handed Ashara a knife and Ashara dutifully cut her a few strands of her long hair. The witch put one in a stoppered vial and the others in the swirls of herbs. “Hold out your hands.” Maggy demanded, her brow furrowed in concentration. “For your blood.” She explained. Ashara felt a flicker of fear. She didn’t know a lot about the magical arts but she had heard that blood magic was the darkest of kinds. She clenched the necklace into a fist and steeled herself. The blade sliced into one of her palms and drops of scarlet blood dripped onto her creation. The witch did the same and bound her ingredients into a small parcel and tied it with a dirty piece of string. The witch looked at her consideringly. “My payment Lady of Starfall.” Ashara reached into her cloak and drew out her allowance. Maggy smirked and shook her head. “I want the necklace, the one given in love and friendship.”</p><p>“Never.” Ashara replied automatically. “Take the gold wi-wise woman. Here take my earrings too, the settings are silver.” The parcel seemed ordinary but she could feel the power radiating off it. She was so close. Maggy shook her head.</p><p>“I know the spirit you seek, a unique one. . .one who perhaps has unfinished business. You really think gold is all she is worth? What would you rather have another conversation or a round piece of metal?” she asked persuasively. “We made a deal, Lady Dayne sealed in blood.” She continued, holding out her wrinkled, gnarled hand.</p><p>“You tricked me.” She said furiously, “You can’t do this. Take the gold, please it is more than you will earn in a winter peddling your. . your wares.”</p><p>“Wares? Hmph, you young heiresses all the same. Spoilt little girls and boys deep down who come looking for my craft, something beyond your understanding, beyond your coddled worlds.”</p><p>“Who do you think you are?” Ashara demanded hotly.</p><p>“Who do I think I am? An honest tradeswoman that is all. Who are you? A Lady of status? Please? I know all about you, greatest beauty of your time, friend to the queen to be. Who are you now? A mother, haha where is your daughter? What would our gods say to that? Not a mother and no maiden neither, the closest one you come to is the crone, oh you don’t like that do you? Aaah the vanity is still strong within you, yes I see you, I see all of you. You don’t like the idea that you are like me do you? You think you are so much better than me but I have something you do not. What is your riches and beauty and power now that your friend is gone? Your daughter is gone? The little prince and princess you loved as your own, you are nothing but a distant memory to them, like there mother is, yes I see them now and the tragedy that awaits them. You, you are fading, a shadow of what you were it would have been better really if you had died with that frail queen you served, if you had jumped . . “ Ashara felt the world close in on her. She couldn’t breathe, the tent wall were surrounding her. Maggy was smiling as she spoke, her grin revealing her last few teeth, most of them brown. Her hand felt slippery with sweat and to her horror she saw her pendant was slipping away, twisting in the air over to the witch. Then she smelt it, the perfume and snapped out of it. What would Elia say about this? What would anyone say? They would think she was mad. She reached out her hand and snatched the pendant back, it feeling strangely warm and heavy in her hand. She could imagine Elia rolling her eyes at this absurd situation, Ashara getting taken in by some hag. The witch narrowed her eyes and began chanting but Ashara shoved her wobbly table toward her causing her to fall backward, knocking over several candles. Flames raced up the tents sheets to her horror. The witch began to scream and gather her possessions, Ashara went to help her but the woman recoiled. "Get out." Her eyes widened as she noticed something behind Ashara. She turned around and there was Elia's ghost. She was dressed as the body had been dressed in the black and red dress, her hair bound beneath a small crown and the pendant around her neck. Ashara backed away, Rhaenys had the pendant. The spirit was see through and passed through objects but it wore an expression of abject hatred. It felt so terrifying, to see such an expression on her friends face and it was directed at her? No, the witch Ashara dimly registered. The pendant was burning in her hand uncomfortably as the witch began to chant faster and faster. Ashara scooped up her bundle full of herbs. Perhaps it could be some sort of defence? "Attack her." the witch wailed unexpectedly in the common tongue." She is the one who forced me to wake you from your peaceful rest."</p><p>"Is this true?" The thing that wore Elia's face asked. "Did you wish for this?" Its voice was filled with horror.</p><p>"No, no. . I  . ." she trailed off helplessly. The thing saw the pendant and its face shifted.</p><p>"Ashara?" It asked uncertainly. "Why would you do this?" The voice was full of despair and confusion.  Ashara couldn't bear it any longer and ran from the tent without looking back.</p><p>A Lady of her status shouldn’t run like some young, gangly farmhand trying to escape a beating. But she did, she rushed and ran, through the streets to Starfall. She blankly registered the looks of astonishment of the guards when she bowled past. Ashara reached her room and locked it behind her and slid down onto the floor panting. She hadn’t run like that since she was a girl. The package was still scrunched in her hand, the necklace entangled in it. She tugged at it, unwilling to see it mixed with the witched filthy spell. Ashara put her necklace on and looked at the package. It looked in the light much less impressive, just a cloth filled with a little herbs and blood. Ashara began to laugh and then she couldn’t stop. What had she been thinking? Raising spirits? What was she, some silly thirteen year old who believed in ghosts? It was so stupid, she was stupid. She stumbled to her bed, the energy that had thrummed through her body was leaving it. It was like it was coming out of her in her laughter she thought absurdly. It was hard to stop. She lay down, felt the soft sheets on her cheek. The package split open, its strange mixture staining her brilliant white pillows but Ashara found she didn’t care. All of her energy was gone, she was drained like the deserts not so far from here. Its scent was starting to overpower her, making her head ache and her eyes began to droop.</p><p>She was alone, in Starfall, on the balcony in her old room. She had been her before she felt vaguely. As a child she had looked out onto the swirling sea, crashing into the black jutting rocks. She had loved the view but as she had grown older she had gone through some phases where she had felt down or strangely empty. The view had become almost inviting. Just a step and there was oblivion, right there. Her hair flew around her shoulders and her arms prickled with cold in the crisp sea wind. She stepped forward until she was right on the edge. “Alone, you’ve always been alone. You always end back up here don’t you?" The witches voice was triumphant. "Why don't you just jump?" The pendant tightened around her throat, to the point it was almost strangling her. She struggled to think through trying to breathe. She tried to grasp it, to tear it from her but it burned to her touch. The sea called out to her like a siren but she felt herself resist. She didn't want this. <em>Why would you do this? </em>the thing had asked. The body. Elia. What she wanted was impossible, the dead had to stay dead. She missed Elia still, it was pointless to deny the huge gap in her life but not so much as to join her in death. Elia wouldn't have wanted that. She had promised. On one of her last days, as they sat together, Elia reading and Ashara silently praying the Martell brothers would arrive soon. It was one of their few moments alone.</p><p>"You should rest." Elia had said. She had preferred not to command Ashara to do anything but Ashara could sense the steel under the comment.</p><p>"I'm fine." she lied. It wasn't as if she would get any sleep anyway. "Are you getting bored of me? I can go and fetch the Queen if you wish." she said teasingly. The Stark Queen had to Ashara's surprise devoted herself to the Queen's care and had been annoyingly present throughout her sickness. She was to be frank quite useless, unused to dealing with the Queen's delicate health as Ashara was. Ashara's knowledge of the Queen had meant she was in charge despite the Queen's much higher status but that hadn't deterred her. Ashara couldn't fault her enthusiasm, she seemed desperate to help. Elia ignored her jibe.</p><p>"You are okay aren't you? You would tell me if you weren't?" The Queen asked her. It had reminded Ashara of the first time she had explained her own condition to Elia who had always been open about her own health concerns. She as watching Ashara worriedly, pulling at her hair but now it had strands of grey. Ashara nodded, not trusting herself to speak. "It will be ok." Elia continued. A complete lie, Ashara knew but nodded again. "If. . If I'm not around when you are feeling sad, you will talk to someone won't you? You won't go out into the waves alone." Ashara had nodded again feeling terrible for lying to her but it was in the name of her health. "I don't want you to drown." Elia said softly, taking her hand in hers.</p><p>"I won't." Ashara said into the sea wind. "I won't." she said louder and louder over the cries of seabirds and the whistling wind. "I'm not alone." She kept her hand on it the pendant even though it burned her.</p><p>She woke up half wrapped in her sheets, the mixture of herbs and blood spread everywhere. Ugh, she thought, the maid would hate her. Her head span a little but she felt lighter than she had in a while. When her fingers found the pendant and put it into her line of vision, the back had been burned in a strange swirling mark. Maggy's last gift.</p><p>Ashara went to find Allyria later that day on the balcony overlooking the crashing sea. "I'm sorry, I was shocked that is all." Ashara knew that she had disappointed Allyria. When she had returned she was sure Allyria had wanted some close sisterly relationship but at that point her time Ashara had been too tired to even leave her room. She just didn't have that closeness with her much younger sister, she couldn't confide in her. Ashara wondered what sweet, bubbly Allyria would say if she told her she had thought about throwing herself off this very balcony. Her sister wasn't ready for that but she didn't deserve this. She was worth more than Ashara's tired indifference. "After Lady Elia gave me that she said I was like the sister she never had." Ashara blurted out. Allyria looked to her in surprise. "The Queen was a sister to me and we hoped that one day our children would be as close."</p><p>"The Princess Rhaenys and Elaena are not you and the Queen." Allyria pointed out gently.</p><p>"I know, I mean I hoped. What I meant to say is that just because we were so close doesn't mean that you aren't my sister or that I don't care for you. I never even really congratulated you on your wedding.” Allyria blushed prettily. “I mean our brother read your letter, how exciting bandits and whatnot.”</p><p>“Yes, I was captured and held in a cellar until my Beric rode to my rescue.” She said it dreamily.</p><p>“They held you in a cellar?” Ashara was shocked. She had heard there was trouble but she had no idea it was that bad, her brother had said it was under control.</p><p>“Yes, it was quite terrifying but Beric helped me keep positive even in the darkest days.”</p><p>“Wait, he was captured too?”</p><p>“Yes until Jaime Lannister and his fellowship rescued us. It was something out of a song. . . well mostly. There was a lot of death.”</p><p>Ashara looked at her dumbfounded. “Jaime Lannister?” Allyria nodded. “The Lord of Casterly Rock?” Allyria nodded again. “What was he doing there?” Ashara had thought of the white knight occasionally over the years. It had occurred to her that Jaime might be the only person apart from Elia’s family that truly missed her. She had never been completely sure about him. There was his arrogant, irritating personality for one thing. He was also a Lannister and Ashara would never forgive the Lannisters. She still remembered with grim satisfaction Tywin Lannister’ execution and his decapitated head rolling on the muddy ground. The last she had heard about him was that he was still reclusive, hiding in his big golden rock? But isn’t that what you are doing a mean voice whispered in her head? When was the last time she had left Starfall’s safe but confining walls apart from to consort with witches.</p><p>“He came to rescue us.” Allyria replied almost nonchalantly. “He admired the necklace too. . I think he wanted to keep it.” It was like a punch in the gut. He must have remembered it. He was there she realised, she had forgotten. “He was a little annoyed I think about our impromptu wedding but he was polite about it. He spent most of his time with his friend really but it was still nice of him.”</p><p>“His friend?” Ashara said doubtfully. Jaime had never seemed like the friendly type. Elia had been his friend, his only real friend as far as she could tell.</p><p>“Yes, Brienne of Tarth. The warrior maiden, it was all in my letter.” There was a hint of reproach in her voice now.</p><p>“I’m sorry, tell me now, everything.” So Allyria told her sister of her captivity, the fear, the bonding between her and her betrothed under the shadow of Rorge and his ghastly motley and their eventual rescue and subsequent marriage. Ashara was a little stunned by her sister’s adventure but then caught herself thinking why should she be so shocked? Terrible thing like her sister’s kidnap happened every day? Why should she be surprised of her sister’s bravery? Or Jaime Lannisters knightly quest? Or that he had made a friend? A strange woman who was painfully shy and acted like a knight, (honestly Allyria’s kind description of this woman was the last person she would expect to be his close companion) but what did she know? Why shouldn’t he have a friend? It wasn’t as if they were part of some strange, exclusive club of people who had become reclusive after Queen Elia’s death. Why shouldn’t he go on quests with his friends? She could see Elia smiling at him and teasing about his knightly valour. Perhaps she should visit him? Where had that thought come from? Why would he want to see her? Elia was what they had had in common and she was gone. He wouldn't want to see her, he was probably counting all of his gold in that huge rock of his.</p><p>"I've heard from our brother that your . . condition hasn't improved that much. That you've started going out a but more but apart from that. . . well I was thinking that maybe a change of scenery would be good." Allyria said, looking her straight in the eye. "It would be nice to have my sister with me to help me settle in as mistress of Blackhaven. Beric will need to attend to his duties and it would be nice . . the company I mean."</p><p>"I can't leave Dorne." Ashara protested a little weakly." And do you really want me there? Your mad, disgraced sister."</p><p>"I don't think you're mad." Allyria said simply.</p><p>"It's alright, I know what people say/"</p><p>"I know what people say too and I'm telling you, there is a difference between mad and sad. As for exile, did they ever explicitly say that? How can they justify denying a visit to your own, newly married sister?" Her voice turned a little sly. "Especially after they didn't lift a finger to help sort out the very bandits who kidnapped said sister." Ashara stared at her sister who looked back at her steadily.</p><p>"You really mean this?"</p><p>"Yes, come on Ashara. It might be good for you and it will definitely be good for me. Also if Elaena just happened to visit, you could talk to her. " The prospect of her daughter was both terrifying and exciting at the same time. She didn't need Elia's ghost to know what she would say. It was a risk. The King and Queen were still unhappy with her, they always would be though it was Connington who had designed her sentence. It had been a kindness really in his way. They had been on amicable terms before the war. Before lines had to be drawn in the sand. He was one of the few members at court that didn't treat her differently after her disgrace. He was as uninterested in her as ever and strangely that had made her like him, he was consistent. After the war though he had viewed her with suspicion and she had a new contempt for the way he followed Rhaegar blindly, as if he was the only light in the darkness of the world. Connington would be busy and preoccupied and as long as she didn't come to the capital, well really what was she doing wrong? There had been no official decree. There was also Elaena, an unknown variable. Would they have a tearful reunion? Or was that expecting to much? Staying here at Starfall and continuing their bland correspondence was the safer option. She needn't mention the pendant at all. But their relationship would never grow closer. She could hear Elia now, this was a chance to have a real connection with her. It was surely worth the risk of upsetting truths.</p><p>"Thank you. That would be lovely." she said.</p><p>"It's no problem. Sisters have to look out for another." Allyria took her hand and they stood watching the crashing sea.</p><p>A Lady of her status could finally enjoy the view again.</p>
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